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22 November 2006 @ 03:43 pm
today i gotta go to the hockey game with jill. not a bad thing though, me and her always used to go to them and see little matt play. so this is our first time going again. like the good old days.

this morning i slept in until 11. it was amazing. then i just laid around and did nothing. but now, i've gotten up and taken a shower and got ready. but those hours of doing nothing were needed.

nothing new in my life. just boredom.
16 November 2006 @ 07:14 pm
every once in a while people have those days.

you know, the days that make you want to go back to bed and quite possible not get up for weeks on end? the ones that make you wonder why you even put up with everyone and their silly nonsense. the days were what everything everyone says is the wrong thing?

that was my day.

it started off fine. dandy; nothing less then wonderous. then it all took a turn for the worse. i don't willingly do these things, but sometimes they always find a way to find me.

they are the hunters. i am the prey, and no matter how hard i flee and hide- i cannot escape them.

the day got better when i arrived at musical try-outs. just seeing everyone again, all of my theatre nerds which i can be so silly around, made me a little happier. i can say the dumbest things that make zero sense, and they think it's hilarious. i love it. i do hope i get a part, which i think i will. knock on wood.
Current Music: the strokes
15 November 2006 @ 05:02 pm
i have urges to go out to a field of flowers and just lay down and run around all by myself.

run until i don't know anyone.
where i'm forgotten but brand new.

i think that would be mind-blowingly amazing.
14 November 2006 @ 07:19 pm

I cannot sing that high....
My God- I think my ear is bleeding.
13 November 2006 @ 06:17 pm

>I really no longer care for school. That I could be failing all my classes and probably not give a bigger shit?
>I have a bad feeling that I will find not one boy in BHS [or even out of it] that likes me for me and is actually not creepy?
>I want to go crazy with new things?
>I never want to get out of my bed and it's hard to think of reasons to get up in the morning?
>Getting in my car and driving forever sounds like heaven right now?
>I will never amount to anything and will remain a silly little girl with dreams?
>Nowadays I'm saying things I would never think I would say before?
>People I used to like are getting on my last nevre and I want them to stay far far away?
>I like to be alone and think about new things I want to get and have but probably never will?
>I envy most people I meet and have an automatic hate for them?
>For some reason I cannot talk to the opposite sex unless I do not find them that attractive?
>In reality, my social skills with anyone sucks? That I can't meet new people easily because I'm way to self-conscience?
>I have long, detailed discussions with my dogs because sometimes I feel like they are the only ones that really care?
>That I think even my closest friends have grudges against me?
>I fear to grow any older because I'll know I'll look back and regret doing nothing?

>I know that no one really cares?
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: regina spektor
12 November 2006 @ 09:44 am
everytime i think about it i get even more sad.
it sucks.

oh well.
fall play is finally over with. musical try-outs next thursday, super excited. guys & dolls. i just want to get a part in it so i can just be with all the people, they are so much fun.
03 November 2006 @ 09:21 pm
i want to make a movie so scary, no one will see it.
a movie so sad that no one cries.
a movie so thought provoking i start a revolution.

but i don't think i can.
03 November 2006 @ 09:14 pm
sometimes i just feel so left out.
27 October 2006 @ 06:15 pm
today. sucked. so. hard.

kill me now?
25 October 2006 @ 07:52 pm
So what if I say I need a change. That I need to have something different come in and switch things up.

Something unexpected
But anticipated at the same time.

So I'm sick of being lonely.
I'm sick of being mean.
I'm sick of being sarcastic.
I'm sick of being chelsea.

To be called beautiful and not just cute.
To be meaningful not just a nuisence.
To make someone feel better- just not myself.
To be talkative and interesting not a complete bore.

Can't I just change for one day?